"The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships"
Written by Tian Dayton
Published September 2012
Read: April 2014
I randomly came across this
book at Barnes and Noble recently. As a therapist whom mainly works with
clients needing help with trauma, addiction, and recovery (including
those who grew up in a family atmosphere of addiction), I always like to
find more books on these topics in order to gain a more in depth
understanding of the emotional dynamics at play and how to use these
dynamics as tools for my clients' healing in therapy. I highly recommend
this book for both clinicians and as a self-help book for those this
book is particularly intended for....adult survivors of relationship
trauma/addiction. This book is written clearly and concisely. The
content is easy to understand if you have a basic comprehension of
psychology and addiction.
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Saturday, April 26, 2014
"In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior" (book review)
"In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior"
Written by Patrick Carnes
Published August 2007, 264 pages (paperback)
Read: September 2012
As a mental health therapist working in the community mental health system, I'm constantly challenged by a myriad of presenting problems clients would like to work on in therapy. While I've been working in the field of co-occurring disorders (ie, addiction and mental health)since 2005, there are certain disorders I'm very skilled in and others I have very little knowledge or experience to draw from.
I'd venture to guess that an individual presenting to therapy is confident that their therapist can help them tackle any and all presenting clinical problems. Unfortunately, this is not always realistically possible. Sometimes the problem is totally out of the scope of a clinician's educational or professional competence. In these instances, referral to a more appropriate professional specialist is warranted. In a majority of cases, however, it is important for clinicians to take the initiative to seek either (or both) supervision, case consultation with trusted colleagues, and self-motivated professional development via continuing education classes/workshops or reading professional literature on the particular subject.
With that said, I was recently presented with a case involving compulsive masturbation and addictive online sexual behavior. I found myself (internally) floundering within this extremely sexually revelatory session with my client....not out of discomfort of the subject matter being discussed, but out of not knowing how to specifically help someone with this particular issue. Especially given how vulnerable my client felt telling me and wanting the client to continue feeling confident or courageous enough to proceed with treatment.
I found myself both intimidated and intrigued by this newfound clinical challenge, that of sex/cybersex addiction. Immediately and somewhat ironically, I searched various sites online for well-written and highly rated professional books on the topic. Much to my surprise, it was a disappointing and difficult search. While there are a plethora of books promoting "healthy" sexuality and how to explore one's sexuality in healthy/safe ways, books on sexual addiction are few and far between. The book I ended up getting wasn't even one I thought would be very helpful, but it ended up being decent.
"In the Shadows of the Net" explores and analyzes the dangerous allure of the Internet on one's sexual proclivities, especially given the technologically dependent society we live in. Although certainly not to be used by any means as an excuse to act out compulsive sexual behaviors, the availability of sexual content and ease of anonymity online makes it that much easier for an individual to get sucked into a downward spiral of unhealthy and unmanageable sexual behavior. Chapters in this book include identifying problematic behavior ("Do I Have a Problem with Cybersex? and "Understanding Problematic Sexual Behavior on the Internet"), analyzing sexual arousal and intimacy ("What Turns You On? The Arousal Template" and "Courtship Gone Awry"), and how to change/recover from sexually addictive behaviors ("Boundaries," "Taking That First Step," "Changing the Way You Live," "Preventing Relapse: Maintaining the Changes You've Made," and "Family Dynamics and Cybersex"). I found "Understanding Problematic Sexual Behaviors on the Internet," "What Turns You On?," "Courtship Gone Awry," and "Boundaries" to be most helpful.
Upon reading the second half of the book, I realized recovery for sex addiction is very similar to alcohol and drug addiction. The author posits that there is a stronger propensity for relapse with sexual addiction than other addictions. Not sure I agree with that, though the relapse prevention model is very much akin to those used in alcohol/drug recovery programs and seeing that made me feel more confident in my professional capabilities to help a client seeking recovery for sexual addiction. I might even take it one step further and pursue a training to become a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.
Who can say their work is never boring or that they're always learning more about the human condition?
Therapists
Written by Patrick Carnes
Published August 2007, 264 pages (paperback)
Read: September 2012
As a mental health therapist working in the community mental health system, I'm constantly challenged by a myriad of presenting problems clients would like to work on in therapy. While I've been working in the field of co-occurring disorders (ie, addiction and mental health)since 2005, there are certain disorders I'm very skilled in and others I have very little knowledge or experience to draw from.
I'd venture to guess that an individual presenting to therapy is confident that their therapist can help them tackle any and all presenting clinical problems. Unfortunately, this is not always realistically possible. Sometimes the problem is totally out of the scope of a clinician's educational or professional competence. In these instances, referral to a more appropriate professional specialist is warranted. In a majority of cases, however, it is important for clinicians to take the initiative to seek either (or both) supervision, case consultation with trusted colleagues, and self-motivated professional development via continuing education classes/workshops or reading professional literature on the particular subject.
With that said, I was recently presented with a case involving compulsive masturbation and addictive online sexual behavior. I found myself (internally) floundering within this extremely sexually revelatory session with my client....not out of discomfort of the subject matter being discussed, but out of not knowing how to specifically help someone with this particular issue. Especially given how vulnerable my client felt telling me and wanting the client to continue feeling confident or courageous enough to proceed with treatment.
I found myself both intimidated and intrigued by this newfound clinical challenge, that of sex/cybersex addiction. Immediately and somewhat ironically, I searched various sites online for well-written and highly rated professional books on the topic. Much to my surprise, it was a disappointing and difficult search. While there are a plethora of books promoting "healthy" sexuality and how to explore one's sexuality in healthy/safe ways, books on sexual addiction are few and far between. The book I ended up getting wasn't even one I thought would be very helpful, but it ended up being decent.
"In the Shadows of the Net" explores and analyzes the dangerous allure of the Internet on one's sexual proclivities, especially given the technologically dependent society we live in. Although certainly not to be used by any means as an excuse to act out compulsive sexual behaviors, the availability of sexual content and ease of anonymity online makes it that much easier for an individual to get sucked into a downward spiral of unhealthy and unmanageable sexual behavior. Chapters in this book include identifying problematic behavior ("Do I Have a Problem with Cybersex? and "Understanding Problematic Sexual Behavior on the Internet"), analyzing sexual arousal and intimacy ("What Turns You On? The Arousal Template" and "Courtship Gone Awry"), and how to change/recover from sexually addictive behaviors ("Boundaries," "Taking That First Step," "Changing the Way You Live," "Preventing Relapse: Maintaining the Changes You've Made," and "Family Dynamics and Cybersex"). I found "Understanding Problematic Sexual Behaviors on the Internet," "What Turns You On?," "Courtship Gone Awry," and "Boundaries" to be most helpful.
Upon reading the second half of the book, I realized recovery for sex addiction is very similar to alcohol and drug addiction. The author posits that there is a stronger propensity for relapse with sexual addiction than other addictions. Not sure I agree with that, though the relapse prevention model is very much akin to those used in alcohol/drug recovery programs and seeing that made me feel more confident in my professional capabilities to help a client seeking recovery for sexual addiction. I might even take it one step further and pursue a training to become a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.
Who can say their work is never boring or that they're always learning more about the human condition?
Therapists
"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" (book review)
"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" by Karyl McBride
Published Sept 2009, 272 pages (paperback)
Read: February 2012
I could really relate to this, though as the daughter of a narcissistic father. I tried to find a book on daughters of NF, but this is all I could find (except "The Narcissistic Family," which I plan on reading next!). Still, it applies just as strongly/powerfully as if written for daughters of mothers with it (in my opinion anyway). I felt guilty and embarrassed when I bought this book, yet so RELIEVED after reading it...validated feelings and the "not good enough" issue I've struggled with for most of my life. It gave me comfort and confidence too to know that while I'm still on a road to 'recovery' with internal validation (vs. looking for the approval or external validation from my father), I've come a long way since my adolescence and 20's. I am continuing to blossom into my own strong sense of self going into my mid 30's and it feels amazing. If you would like a referral for qualified therapists in your area that are familiar with helping individuals that struggle with this, go to Karyl McBride's website willieverbegoodenough.com.
Published Sept 2009, 272 pages (paperback)
Read: February 2012
I could really relate to this, though as the daughter of a narcissistic father. I tried to find a book on daughters of NF, but this is all I could find (except "The Narcissistic Family," which I plan on reading next!). Still, it applies just as strongly/powerfully as if written for daughters of mothers with it (in my opinion anyway). I felt guilty and embarrassed when I bought this book, yet so RELIEVED after reading it...validated feelings and the "not good enough" issue I've struggled with for most of my life. It gave me comfort and confidence too to know that while I'm still on a road to 'recovery' with internal validation (vs. looking for the approval or external validation from my father), I've come a long way since my adolescence and 20's. I am continuing to blossom into my own strong sense of self going into my mid 30's and it feels amazing. If you would like a referral for qualified therapists in your area that are familiar with helping individuals that struggle with this, go to Karyl McBride's website willieverbegoodenough.com.
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